Sure, at some point we hear that silence is golden. I’m convinced, though, that this admonishment usually comes from an adult who wants to be able to talk without interruption. And, I think there was a verse about a wise old owl sitting on an oak, speaking less, and hearing more--the message being that if we behaved thus, we would become more wise. But, I can’t even remember the exact words. We do have Silent Cal Coolidge, a president remembered mostly for quotes like I've never had to explain something I didn't say and if you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it.
By and large, though, we live by the spoken and written word. We admire and strive to emulate famous orators. Martin Luther King Jr’s. and John F. Kennedy’s words, I have a dream and Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country help cement their place in history. We judge our leaders as much, perhaps more, by what they say as by what they do. Commentators endlessly analyze and then talk even more about political speeches. From an early age, we are exhorted to express ourselves, to say what we mean, to speak up, speak out, speak loudly, speak more clearly.
As a result of this emphasis on the spoken word, many Americans are uncomfortable with silence. Some of us turn on the radio or TV while we’re busy at other tasks, just to hear words in the background. In relationships with others, especially those we don’t know very well, we think something’s wrong if conversation is not continuous. During silences, we search our minds to find something to say. If we can’t think of anything valuable to mention, we are compelled to fill the void with meaningless chatter.
Occasionally, we are taught to exploit this fear of silence. When learning to interview job candidates several years ago, I was taught to use quiet in an interview to make ‘em squirm a little. It works. I could sit quietly reviewing notes and almost invariably, the interviewee would jump in to add information. Occasionally the added information helped their case, many times it did not.
Contrast the American’s dislike of silence with the traditional Japanese view of silence. Japanese grow up with proverbs like the bird who doesn’t sing won’t get shot or the mouth is a source of trouble. Japanese children are taught not to talk too much, not to be chatterboxes.
This early indoctrination carries over to Japanese business conduct.
In The Eight Core Values of the Japanese Businessman: Toward an Understanding of Japanese Management, author Yasutaka Sai defines Silence as Eloquence and a core value of the Japanese working environment. In working situations as in other interpersonal situations, you will be viewed with disfavor if you talk too much. In exactly the same circumstances, a Japanese executive may consider speech unnecessary and an American executive would require a lengthy explanation. The Japanese executive in this situation would believe that reading subtle signs and signals and exercising intuition are more significant than the spoken word. Silence can be considered a sign of respect for the person who has spoken, or the silent Japanese executive may be pondering the next step. One author claims that Japanese silences are times to be shared, not emptiness that must be filled with words.
A common anecdote reflecting this difference in communications style comes from the interview process. If you have a Japanese manager and an American manager interview the same job candidates, the Japanese interviewer favors the candidate who speaks softly, who is comfortable with silence, who doesn’t disagree and who avoids eye contact. The American interviewer goes with candidates who actively express their thoughts and who make and maintain eye contact.
This Japanese characteristic of valuing silence and using it as a means of communication is changing. In light of Japan’s recent economic troubles and the ongoing recovery, Japanese executives are coming to acknowledge the importance of the spoken (and written) word. As Japan works to hold on to its place in the global society, Japanese businesspeople are recognizing the need to become more adept at expressing themselves and understanding the benefits of clear and explicit communications between individuals and companies. Even though the average Japanese executive may still talk less than the average Westerner, they are becoming more skilled at communicating with words.
